Monday, July 25, 2011

Things I Love/Loathe Right Now

What I'm loving right now:
- baby kisses (monsi [current nickname for our son] just learned to give kisses this week!)
- baby steps (he just took his first steps too)
- chai lattes (always a fave, but currently on a run with them)
- bookstores (I already miss borders)
- jogging with monsi (I love passing other joggers while pushing the jogging stroller)
- coupons (We save 100's of dollars a year, easily. Today I bought a brand new outfit for the baby for under 3 dollars. We've also been saving on chai concentrate, which is good since I've been drinking so much.)
- being silly with kids while at work
- being silly with son while at home (It's nice that someone thinks I'm funny)
- talking to first time moms in the clinic (I feel so connected to them!)
- seeing dads bring their kids to the doctor (It makes me feel so warm inside!)
- cooking at home (we've added a whole bunch of new recipes lately)
- my job, on the whole
- my husband taking care of me (I haven't done a load of dishes in days, he's awesome with our son AND he bought me flowers! Though he does lose a few points for repeatedly splashing me while I gave the baby a bath tonight.)
- yoga (stretching feels so good)
- snuggling (who doesn't love a good snuggle?)
- our church (we really feel like a part of our parish now)

What I'm loathing right now:
- working in the ER (I had to cover a night ER shift last week - I quickly figured out that it's not my calling, 3 hours into my first ever shift. I helped with some awful, awful tragic stuff. It was heartbreaking.)
- July heat
- construction zones (I go through 5 unique construction zones everyday)
- not having enough energy/time left to spend with my husband (after work, baby, and everything else, it's after 10 pm and I am just exhausted. Things are slowly getting better though.)
- our computer breaking
- unexpected car repairs (when it rains, it pours)
- our tomato plant growing 6 feet tall and not producing any tomotoes
- waking up at 5:45 on my days off (Thank-you, son.)
- not having enough time for my family & friends (I've been pretty anti-social since I've started working again. I haven't figured out how to balance everything yet. I still owe one of my best friends a return call from two weeks ago.)
- not having time to write in this blog (Saying I would have time to write 2x a week was a pipe dream)
- The Safety Dance (I've been listening to it daily for months because it puts my son to sleep. I just cannot listen to it any more.)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Dr. Dolittle

In clinic this week …
Patient (reading a book): “Mom, what type of duck is this?”
Mom: “Child, I ain’t no Dr. Dolittle.”

I’m a full week into residency, and still alive. (My husband reminds me that if I make it and if my patients make it through the day, then it’s been a good day.)
It’s been a big transition into residency.  In med school, I had no responsibility and was very limited in what I could do patient-care wise. Now, I can do everything and am expected to do everything. Patients think you know what you’re talking about when you have on the white coat. People take you more seriously on the phone when you introduce yourself as doctor.
Still, when my patients say “What do I do doc?” I look around the room for a doctor. A real doctor. But then I realize I’m the doctor. A real doctor in a long white coat. I have to reply to them.
I’m so green. And also so rusty. I’ve lost my rhythm in the past year. I frequently feel like Dr. Dolittle. Actually, it’s more like Dr. DoThingsInefficently.  With that said, I have learned a ton of information in the past week. It’s amazing how much better I am at doctoring now, and it’s only been a week. By the end of the day, my brain is total mush. And I’m just doing an outpatient (clinic/office-based) month. The hard months are yet to come.
While it’s been challenging, I’ve really been enjoying work. I love talking to parents and playing with kids. I like calling patients and being able to get handled things somewhat autonomously. I like being able to actually sign a script. My coworkers and attending have been nothing but wonderful, which makes work much more enjoyable.
Coming home to my monsies (my son) has been wonderful. He runs for me and squeals when I walk in the door. It is the best thing ever. I have been missing my son terribly, but he’s been doing great with my husband. I am able to give him 100% attention in the evenings . He fortunately is a night owl by nature, so we get a lot of quality time together. But then he goes to bed and my energy disappears, and I fall asleep on the couch after reading for 5 minutes. I’m just exhausted by the end of the day.
It’s been hard so far, but I knew it would be a difficult transition. I keep reminding myself that I am in the midst of a huge adjustment. I’ve gone from one extreme to the other – stay-at-home-mom to work-a-lot-mom.  (My goal someday is somewhere in between.) Things have been working out as smoothly as possible thus far. I am very thankful to have such great support from my husband. He’s amazing. He is really the one making this all go so well.